I was recently asked to write a few words about my key achievements as a Green and candidate for election. I really dislike petty self-aggrandisement and anyway I haven't really achieved anything tangible yet, certainly nothing of significance to a general audience, so this is what I came up with. I haven't had a reaction yet from the apparatchiks (yes we do have them) - I hope they use it.

Roger Creagh-Osborne : Key Achievements

• Between 1952 and 1969 I lived off my parents.
• Between 1970 and 1977 I sponged off the state.
• Between 1978 and 1998 I raised three children (thus exceeding my replacement quota) and taught them to have a moderately high impact lifestyle on the planet. I also held jobs in areas which contributed to the promotion of consumer culture and the undermining of social cohesion.
• Between 1999 and 2003 I climbed a corporate greasy pole and became a serious climate criminal achieving a peak of over 170,000 air miles and 56,000 car miles in a single year. I also earned a six digit amount and spent it all on an unsustainable lifestyle and trashing the planet.

• In early January 2005 I joined the Green Party, and I have been getting better ever since. It is a long road but I am hopeful that I will make some progress towards redemption before I die; I wish to live to be 100 so I have only 46 years left to achieve this.